Final Diagnosis
by CyberMum
Summary: There was a challenge floating around a.s.c., affectionately known as "Die Seven Die." Somehow I found it irresistible.


FINAL DIAGNOSIS

**FINAL DIAGNOSIS**

  
_There was a challenge floating around a.s.c., affectionately known as "Die Seven Die." Somehow I found it irresistible. Disclaimer: They own them. I rhyme them._

  
**Final Diagnosis  
by Cybermum**

  
"She's dead, Captain" the Doctor cried  
And Janeway saw he hadn't lied.  
Seven of Nine lay still and pale.  
"I've tried it all to no avail.  
CPR and electro-shock  
I even used a beta-block."  
The medic sobbed in deep distress  
"I fear I've made a dreadful mess." 

The Captain raised a single brow  
And asked him quite succinctly "How?"  
The EMH took a deep breath  
And looked down on the face of death.  
"I thought that if I could correct  
One insignificant defect  
Just one inconsequential flaw  
A small one that few others saw." 

Tom Paris rushed into sickbay  
Exhibiting intense dismay  
His manner short and quite abrupt  
"I'm sorry Ma'am to interrupt  
But there is something you should know"  
He saw the Borg and cried "Oh no  
Is she..?" He halted with a jerk.  
"I knew it. Damn. It didn't work." 

B'Elanna Torres arrived next  
The Captain looked at her, perplexed.  
"Lieutenant you will tell me, now,  
Exactly what, or why and how  
Our one and only real Borg  
Has turned this place into a morgue?"  
The engineer replied, aghast.  
"Captain, I'd rather not be asked." 

When Neelix stepped into the room  
It wasn't easy to assume  
That it was a coincidence;  
His manner was far too intense.  
"Am I too late? Can I stop it?"  
"Shut up." Hissed Tom. "Just drop it."  
He gazed upon the bio-bed.  
"Oh my," he said. "She's really dead." 

Harry Kim, quite pale and flustered  
Joined the group that now had clustered  
Closely around the former drone.  
He gasped and couldn't help but moan.  
"If I'd been a little faster  
Could we have stopped this disaster?"  
And with a sad sigh he noted  
"Now I'll never be promoted." 

"I assume she is still alive."  
Said Tuvok, the next to arrive.  
When informed of the Borg's demise  
He said "Well then I do surmise  
The procedure that we had planned  
Has gotten slightly out of hand."  
"And sadly there is no reverse."  
Wept the Doctor, feeling much worse. 

Captain Janeway had had enough  
It was time, she thought, to get tough.  
"All right" she shouted through the din  
"Report. Right now. Tuvok. Begin."  
The sudden silence in the room  
(As if after a sonic boom)  
Was heavy with expectation.  
He searched for an explanation. 

But just then one more arrival  
Gave them all hope of survival.  
Chakotay strode into the fray.  
(What a literary cliché!)  
"Commander" Captain Janeway said  
"It appears that Seven is dead."  
"So it would seem" the man replied.  
And we'll explain just how she died." 

"When Seven came aboard our ship  
The Doc removed a microchip  
And a cybernetic junction  
Which we learned controlled each function  
Of her physical condition  
And her mental disposition.  
It soon became quite apparent  
That her behaviour was aberrant." 

"I didn't know" the Doctor said  
"There weren't instructions to be read."  
Tom Paris stepped up to the plate  
Hand in hand with his Klingon mate.  
"Each of us tried to reconnect  
The components to no effect."  
"I even tried Leola root."  
Neelix' distress was quite acute. 

"I tested methods logical  
As well as biological."  
"I taught her music. Well I tried"  
Sighed Harry Kim. "But then I died."  
"I tried things intellectual  
And then I tried things sexual."  
"Chakotay" Janeway did respond  
To this: "That was a bit beyond" 

Tuvok's timely interjection:  
"Captain, it was my direction."  
She nodded and she pursed her lips  
She placed her hands upon her hips.  
"And then?" She fixed him with a stare:  
The infamous Janeway death glare.  
"There was another side effect  
We were attempting to correct." 

"As Seven became more unique  
Certain regions of her physique"  
The Doctor was a bit hard pressed  
But kept on gamely with the rest  
"Initially beneficial  
And completely artificial  
Grew slightly out of proportion  
Leading to fatal contortion 

Of her upper dorsal sector  
Which did adversely affect her.  
We tried every way to deflate  
Them, but alas it was too late.  
Those units that were over blown  
With most unstable silicone  
Eventually overloaded.  
And then finally exploded." 

  


  
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End file.
